What if I Am a BIG FAT Failure? Part II

Day 1: Part II

I am still reeling a bit from my mentor’s e-mail (which I asked for in a prior e-mail requesting advice from him on what he really thought about the possibility for success in my business) and I still don’t know what to make of it. He called it “tough love” and that was an understatement. Some would say he was being very negative, others would say he was just being realistic. I appreciated his candor and I had to say that the scariest thing was that I agreed with him to an extent on a lot of the issues he brought up.

In all the books, blogs, articles etc. I had read, I understood the risk we were taking. I understood the odds of it being really successful were slim. I understood that it would take a lot of hard work and late nights and early mornings (which I hate). I just had to figure out whether I was up for this particular challenge, whether I was up for putting my personal life on hold.

This is the age old issue for women that men will always have to hear about, but never really understand. We have to think about our businesses, our careers, our schooling, and how we spend our time dating, dallying, and working because if we want to have babies, we can’t wait forever to do it. And, I knew I wanted to have kids long before I knew I wanted to write or even teach and certainly long before I wanted to start a business, so my answer was simple on that. My priority was starting a family some point soon and if this business was going to drastically hold that up, then I was out.

But, I am not a quitter and this business was a baby of sorts—an ugly one at the moment, but still mine. I had to give it my all, it was who I was. So… we are going to go through with the rebrand, probably spend another $20.000.00 realistically and throw in the towel if it doesn’t work after that. My business partner who I will refer to as F says we will split the debt down the middle and it will be like a car payment for 5 years—not so bad.

I disagree and failing in that way really isn’t an option for me. It never has been and I am not about to start now. I close this day at 2 AM with the hope and prayer that tomorrow will bring a new day of new thinking and positivity and I will be able to recharge and go back to being my normal workaholic self that truly believes deep down that everything will work out in the end.