Well, I should be honest. I have technically been in business for about 3 years. I hate to say that because I feel like we don't have much to show for the 3 years we have put in except for a whole lot of debt, old equipment, and aggravation, but some would say we have learned a lot and have come a long way. Before I start to write a daily synopsis on what it's like to run a business, I will at least give you some background on the last 3 years. I will try to be brief.
I went into my first business like many other people--unaware, unafraid, unknowing, basically stupid and naive to the work that it would entail. I had no money, no business schooling, and no experience. I had no business plan, and a business partner who I thought I got along with because we had never had one significant fight in all ten years that we knew each other. I had a good idea and I was sure that it would take off. I could not have been more wrong on everything I thought I knew.
The Idea:
Both me and my business partner were from the east coast and we along with many of our friends, enjoyed a sweet, cold product called Italian Ice (fruit, water, and sugar blended and frozen to create an all-natural frozen treat). Haha! Can't believe I remembered that whole tag line. It seemed like the perfect product to bring to the west coast, so we started making it with real fruit in our own kitchen (did I mention my male business partner and I lived together when we started this venture?)
Anyway, we went into our local bank and made friends with one of the head honchos there. He took a liking to us and he supported our business, so he supplied us with 4 business credit cards and a $25,000.00 loan without so much as a one-page business plan. We didn't have to talk to anyone else, we didn't have to make any sort of presentation, we didn't have to prove that our business would see growth. This was before the market crashed and banks were apparently just giving out money. How wrong they were to give us money. How wrong we were to take it. We used those credit cards and that credit line pretty quickly to buy all of the equipment that we needed to see this venture to fruition.
We had to figure out how to use the equipment and we had to nail down our recipe. Once we completed that lengthy project, we started going to events to sell our fabulous, all-natural product. We would set up a traveling store front at local street fairs and farmer's markets.
Every weekend, we would pack the truck with all of our supplies and then wake up at 5 AM to get to the location on time and set up. We would be all set up by 6:30 AM and then have to wait for 5-6 hours before anyone wanted to start buying our product, and did I mention our product sales were almost completely dependent on the weather. If it was cold or cloudy or rainy, no one would buy our product. Then, we also had to worry about the demographic of people to come to the event and also the location of our booth. Were we placed in the middle of everything, off at the end, or by the kiddie tent? It was a terrible way to try and make a living. We both hated it and decided that we would be better off attempting to take the lessons we learned and put them into another product.
IDEA II:
We took the lessons we learned and the desire to create a product that was healthier than what was currently out there and we made an all-natural, low-calorie sweet and sour mix. At the time, it seemed like a perfect idea.
We took the lessons we learned and the desire to create a product that was healthier than what was currently out there and we made an all-natural, low-calorie sweet and sour mix. At the time, it seemed like a perfect idea.
Most people, women especially, love mixed drinks especially margaritas, but they avoid drinking them because they are so high in calories and sugar. I thought this was the perfect option for a new product. Unfortunately, many other people out there were hatching the same idea and developing it at the same time. Thankfully, ours still proves to be the best tasting and the healthiest of the bunch. We launched the new product about 2 years after the genesis of the water ice idea. We had it bottled and labeled by a professional manufacturer in April, 2009 and made our first big sale in June, 2009. Since then, we have decided to re-brand the product to make the bottle, name, and label more appealing on a national level.
So, that brings us to the present time. Now that you know the background, check back in for the daily news on running a business one day at a time.
So, that brings us to the present time. Now that you know the background, check back in for the daily news on running a business one day at a time.
What if I Am a BIG FAT Failure?
Day #1 of journaling life as a business owner (2/1 at 1:43 AM):
This is probably somewhere in the 800th day of my business if you count when we officially started back in the spring of 2008, but as far as my daily writings, this is my first. I couldn’t have started on a worst week. I have had 3 ugly cold sores for all to see, one ulcer on my tongue, one face rash on one side of my cheek, and an issue called Interstitial Cystitis which basically makes you feel like you have a UTI all of the time, but this particular issue “down there” actually has nothing to actually do with sex—according to my doctor, it has everything to do with stress… and so do all of my other ailments. I am taking in his advice and trying to relax—it is difficult, as most new business owners can imagine.
In the last 48 hours, I have gotten in two huge fights with my business partner over the phone, have vehemently threatened to leave the business behind and start life over on the East Coast, and have also been told by our first and only mentor that the feat we have taken on is probably insurmountable with no money and neither one of us having the time to do it 24/7 (since we work other jobs to make a living).
He surmised that we do not have the foggiest idea of what it takes to create, brand, sell, and make profit off of a new product that has a vast amount of competition (5,000 was the number he chose when stating about how many competitors we probably have).
Of course, I tried to take this all in like an adult and calmly rethink our plan. I reasoned that he was of an older generation and probably not as much of a risk taker as many of my peers today are. I made myself feel better at first saying things like, “He doesn’t know what he is talking about. His own business probably stinks.”
But, the harsh reality came about 4 hours later when I was trying to go to sleep and I had done my last e-mail check for the night. All of a sudden, I started to panic and wonder if all he said was true. Would we be able to do this with no money? Would we be able to get investors of any merit? What if we never get this product off the ground and we are in debt to this company again? What if we never get out of debt? What if I have to go back to doing a 9-5 job and succumb to a miserable existence (in my eyes)?
What if…what if…what if…all night long. It was a restless night to say the least.
Day 1: Part II
I am still reeling a bit from my mentor’s e-mail (which I asked for in a prior e-mail requesting advice from him on what he really thought about the possibility for success in my business) and I still don’t know what to make of it. He called it “tough love” and that was an understatement. Some would say he was being very negative, others would say he was just being realistic. I appreciated his candor and I had to say that the scariest thing was that I agreed with him to an extent on a lot of the issues he brought up.
In all the books, blogs, articles etc. I had read, I understood the risk we were taking. I understood the odds of it being really successful were slim. I understood that it would take a lot of hard work and late nights and early mornings (which I hate). I just had to figure out whether I was up for this particular challenge, whether I was up for putting my personal life on hold.
This is the age old issue for women that men will always have to hear about, but never really understand. We have to think about our businesses, our careers, our schooling, and how we spend our time dating, dallying, and working because if we want to have babies, we can’t wait forever to do it. And, I knew I wanted to have kids long before I knew I wanted to write or even teach and certainly long before I wanted to start a business, so my answer was simple on that. My priority was starting a family some point soon and if this business was going to drastically hold that up, then I was out.
But, I am not a quitter and this business was a baby of sorts—an ugly one at the moment, but still mine. I had to give it my all, it was who I was. So… we are going to go through with the rebrand, probably spend another $20.000.00 realistically and throw in the towel if it doesn’t work after that. My business partner who I will refer to as F says we will split the debt down the middle and it will be like a car payment for 5 years—not so bad.
I disagree and failing in that way really isn’t an option for me. It never has been and I am not about to start now. I close this day at 2 AM with the hope and prayer that tomorrow will bring a new day of new thinking and positivity and I will be able to recharge and go back to being my normal workaholic self that truly believes deep down that everything will work out in the end.
Day #2 of journaling life as a business owner (2/2 at 12:04 AM)
We tried to conduct a business meeting last night at 7, but it was after a long day of work for all of us and we were all exhausted. Usually, we can rally, but tonight, there was no cheerleader in the bunch. We got very little accomplished. As usual, I got a bug up my ass around 9 and stayed up till about 3 AM. I woke up this morning at 8, then 9, and then I finally dragged myself out of bed at 11:11. I had two missed calls from J, our most dedicated salesman (and also friend) at the moment. The only problem is he lives in NYC. Perfect. He knows about the product, he is passionate, largely because he is shamefacedly broke, but nonetheless, he was born to sell and I know he would kick ass if the product was readily available to him in NYC. I don’t know how we will make that happen while he is still interested, but hopefully we will.
Anyway, he coached me on how to conduct a cold call for about a half hour last night and wanted to see how my progress was coming along. I had just woken up, really? I hadn’t made any progress yet. I still had to wash my face, guzzle some coffee, call my grandmother since I hadn’t picked up her most recent calls, make my appointments for physical therapy, eat some semblance of a normal meal, oh and actually go to my job that pays. I had to fit that in somewhere too.
So, no I hadn’t picked up the phone and started any cold calls yet. I know most of you are saying, “well get to it” and “why didn’t you wake up earlier?” I hate when I am asked the latter—everyone always wants to ask that. Part of the reason I started a bloody business was to sleep in; it’s the only bonus I get from this meager existence and I am NOT giving it up, so don’t ask anymore.
Lesson from today: Try to avoid calling business meetings when you know everyone is going to be exhausted. It is never that productive (as we did last night). Plan out your day, no matter how many hours you have or don’t have to dedicate to business, and make sure that in those hours, you only do business. Leave all the personal annoyances out of the equation. Make your appointments, pay your bills etc. any other time except that time you allotted solely for business stuff.
Day #3 of journaling life as a business owner (2/3 at 12:24 AM):
I am actually tired tonight. I haven’t been tired till like 3 AM the last few nights. I think I am letting my brain relax a bit today. I was actually able to sit and watch 20 minutes of Ellen, 5 minutes of Oprah, and like 15 minutes of American Idol tonight without doing anything else! That is a big step for me…well, I did pluck my eyebrows for one of those, but that doesn’t really count. Plucking is a pleasant past time for me. Anyway, I set up my play list on groove shark tonight—what a great invention, and it has kept me feeling a bit more sane than usual. On my playlist tonight, Florence and the Machine (I actually like this weird chic), Ingrid Michaelson, one song of Citizen Cope (Drummer Kick), and Joe Purdy for my really down and out moments. You can see my range of emotions in just my playlist. It is quite a hodgepodge. Anyway, today, I had to get my credit score info. so we can see if there is any chance in hell that any bank or credit card will loan us money. I have been putting this moment off for a few months. I used to have a great credit score until I started a business, took out a loan we couldn’t afford, charged cards we should have never charged, and then only got paid 25,000.00 income for the whole year. I used to be able to pay my credit cards off every month, but those days have been gone for awhile. Anyway, after paying 15.99 for a monthly credit report and all of the bells and whistles through Wells Fargo, I found out that between the 3 agencies, I have a 704 as my highest and 683 as the lowest. I have ONE discrepancy and it has to do with my bank loan and I don’t even think it’s all my fault. Yes, it’s the bank’s fault. I have decided.
Lesson from today: Don’t be afraid to check your credit score. Most people at some point have had a low score and there are many resources--books and websites to teach you how to increase your score. There is a lot of support out there and it is better to just find out what you are up against and deal with it. Don’t live in the dark regarding money or you will never find your way out to the light. I also realized today that it is worth it to spend $12.99 a month through a reputable agency and track your spending and credit score. You can stay on top of your financial situation, and you deserve that. Uh oh…I sound like an ad right now. It’s true though. That is advice I wish I would have heard earlier and I wish my parents would have showed me how to check my credit score and keep checking it at a much younger age. I would have been more aware and made wiser choices.
Day#4 and 5--cars, condos, and cookies
2/3 at 12:24 AM
Day #4
Business/Personal-- I did very little for the business today. I woke up at 10:50, went to my lawyers for my auto accident, babysat from 1:30-9:30. Rich came home after he and Jess saw “Black Swan” very excited and loud to say “Nasty… Nasty nasty movie. The girl or girl was nasty.” And he kept saying it, thought maybe he was a little drunk. Jess just looked and laughed at him and told him not to eat the hummus he was about to put in his mouth if he wanted “any kisses later…” I came home, got a shower, and Michael called me back at 10:30. We were on the phone till almost 3 for 4 hours and 20 minutes, so I didn’t get to write anything for day #4.
2/4/11 10:06
Day #5
I went to drop my car off at Tony’s for 90,000 mile check up and since the “check engine” light has been coming on sporadically and more recently for the past two months, I decided I should really do something about it. Chris let me borrow his car since he is going away camping with the boys for the weekend. I went to lunch at Crab Catcher with Kacie, Matt, and Kacie’s mom, spent a cool 40.00, much more than last time and saw Justin and Jamie. I told Matt I would give them a gift card for getting me in there although I have no idea where I will find the money to do it. That account is so small. Then, I came home and slept for an hour, tutored Michelle, talked to Michael for awhile about the condo for sale here for 129.000 and then got a headache. Made a salad a TJ pizza out of the box, watched a lot of t.v. and now I am in my room doing the same thing. I am getting my period soon, so I suppose I have a head ache from that and I want to eat everything in sight. When I was at Crab Catcher, I was talking about the condo for sale and one of the waiters came up to me and said, “Sorry to eavesdrop, but I heard you talking about 14th and Broadway? I live there in my parents condo and it is awesome. You should totally buy it.” So, I wonder if that is a sign. Plus, the address adds up to 13—dad will like that! Gotta put down 20% and be able to pay the mortgage plus the HOA fees. Michael is really excited and wants to do it. Perhaps, we should. Tom and I always talk about property too. Kelsey likes the idea as well. I wish I had more money coming it—I am so sick of being broke and not knowing when this business will pick up… ugh. Going back to watching Grey’s with a butterscotch krimpet. I have a headache and want to try to relax…
2/5
Day #6 Credit Cards are the Bane of My Existence
$400.00 down for my 90,000 mile check up on a car I don’t really want, but have to keep for now. $276.14 on Citi Business credit card—29% interest hike up because the last payment was late. ALL of my work last week as a tutor went to pay these bills. C forgot to pay the bills last month, two other ones (in addition to the Citi cards) were late. Their interest rate was hiked up to 22%. I freaked out on C about not remembering to pay the bills and then he was able to do the same thing to me today when I forgot to pick up the check on Friday that was going to get us out of this mess. We have one big account. When this restaurant is busy, they buy a lot of product and their one account pays all of our monthly minimum balances. This was a huge feat for us when it first happened. Now, it’s old hat and it’s not good enough and it is taking too long for us to dig ourselves out of this crazy business hole we got ourselves into.
(Obvious) Lesson of the Day: Pay your bills on time every time. Don't leave it to someone else to take care of ever, especially not someone who you don't completely trust to do things on time. Track all of your money and APR interest rates and keep it in mind at all times. I think it is too easy for people to just keep swiping their cards without realized that the shoes they just bought "on sale" are going to end up costing them tons more when bought with a credit card that has a balance and a high interest rate. Don't let this get out of control ever. It is very easy to get in the credit card hole and very hard to find your way out. Finally, Citi Business is actually a great company to have a business card with. They hiked up the interest rate this particular time, but I called and explained the situation and they put it back down to 6% and refunded me money back for the fees. Plus, they were really nice and helpful on the phone.
Day #7—
Written on 2/6 *did not post
This weekend, I had a headache and did barely anything on Friday. I took a pill and slept for 14 hours—I must have needed it. I didn’t set an alarm for the first time in months and I fell asleep at 12 and didn’t wake up till 2 in the afternoon. After I groggily woke up, I showered and practically gulped down some much needed coffee and headed over to a house of a family that I used to babysit for. I actually met them through Craigslist and they weren’t serial killers. People can never believe the luck of that now. I hadn’t seen the family in awhile. The mom lured me over with some Girl Scout cookies and some promises of business info. She is a realtor. She works hard and she is savvy and even a bit sharky without seeming too salesy. She knows how to get leads and numbers, and she is good at following up. She is not afraid to ask for anything. She is good at what she does.
I told her that I was headed out to a restaurant by a certain celebrity who had a few locations and that I was hoping to speak with the GM that evening. She invited herself and her husband along to join me and I was delighted since I wouldn’t have to loiter at the bar and buy drinks I didn’t want while pretending that my date was in the bathroom or there was something really pressing on my cell phone that I had to attend to.
We ate dinner, asked the waiter if he could possibly make our margaritas with my mix instead of the in-house, and I dropped a few names of other people I knew there to give me some credibility. He had already tried my mix since I had gone in there and left a bottle a few nights before, so he was on board with making us some drinks. He was nice. I hope they left him a good tip (they generously paid for my dinner). After dinner, a short bald Asian/Indian decent looking man (we still don’t know if he was also gay or not) came to our table offering to fill our glasses and asking us if we needed anything. V took the opportunity to ask him if he was indeed the guy I needed to speak to and made the introduction so I didn’t have to. He knew about me and my product, was willing to try it and scheduled an appt. with me on Tuesday. Before leaving, he gave us a pineapple vodka infused shot which was awesome and we thoroughly enjoyed it.
After that, we headed to the bar where they had live music going and we ended up sitting next to this guy who was from OB but had been the bar manager at another location of the restaurant in San Fran. I thought he was a possible lead, but realized that since he was probably under the influence of something other than alcohol, he wasn’t going to be of much help. After he tried to impress upon me that I should join an MLM involving natural foods that costs 1,000.00 to get involved, I really saw that he was just going to be for fun and not for work to talk to.
Needless to say, he was entertaining and we busted each other’s balls for awhile comfortably. He asked me “if I was taken” and of course, I said yes. Then I suggested that he go find work (since he is looking) at the nearest gay bar because he was one of those guys that was good looking and the gays would love him.
After this successful evening, I met my partners at a business dinner where I was of course late and much of the food was gone. I also found out that one of the other guests of the party was a single mom trying to make a margarita mix that is all organic to sell at farmer’s markets. That was not the first thing I wanted to hear upon entering the room, but I let it go. I suggested she contact us and just get involved with us instead of starting from scratch.
Day #7 My Mentor told me to do this difficult exercise...2/6 Sunday-- I did the super bowl thing for an hour and then got back to work.
And, here I am. I replied to all of my business and personal e-mails. The hardest e-mail of the evening was the one I had been putting off for about a week to our mentor. I expressed to him my doubts and fears about the business and he asked me to sit down and really think about what I want, where I want to be, and what I want to be doing when I am 50. He said not to worry about if I thought my wants were possible or not, just to write them down anyway…
I responded with the following:
Ideally, I would live in a house with my husband in a mid-large town (not small town) where it is warm most the year. My house would have a room with built-in bookshelves and I would have an office space to myself. I would have a pool, but I would be able to afford to hire people to take care of it. I would do the domestic duties along with my husband, so I wouldn’t hire anyone to clean, cook, etc. My house is not enormous, but I have a walk in closet and a big tub. My house would include an in-laws quarters that would be fully functional so my parents could be there without even coming into my house.
My husband and I would be able to take vacations at least 4-6 weeks out of the year and it would not be a struggle for us to go to dinner 1-2 a week. We would have the disposable income to go on weekend getaways if we want maybe 1 every 2 months. We would have 3-4 kids and we have the money to let them each do 1-2 sports/activities each year and we are also able to afford me staying home with them and having some babysitting help at least 15 hours a week. We can pay our bills and credit cards in full every month without having to worry about it. We still have money left over to save and to spend on things we want to do.
Ideally, I would have passive income from this company or something else, so I had the opportunity to get involved in other projects that I am really interested in. I want to be a writer and a teacher and a businessperson. I want to be a mom who can stay home and work around the kids’ schedules instead of being bound to a 9-5 job. I want to buy investment properties and hope to have a few by the time I am 50.
I hope this doesn’t sound too crazy. I am willing to work really hard and live meagerly as I have been doing to get all of this. I don’t expect it to be easy and I don’t expect anything to just be given to me.
This is probably way too much detail, but I am a writer, so I get carried away! Now you know more than you ever wanted to know about me.
I look forward to hearing your response.
AA
Pick Your Partner like you Would Pick Your Spouse
Day #8 (2/8 at 12:34 AM)
Monday—Went to bed at 2 last night and woke up at 11. I was supposed to wake up and tutor, one of the many jobs I do to keep a roof over my head, but my student canceled. I knew I should have gotten out of bed when I originally planned, but I couldn’t make myself do it. Sleep is my true vice. It lures me in, makes me comfortable, and tells me entertaining stories. I woke up at 11 to an angry business partner—this time it was my fault. Last week, I found out that he didn’t pay the three credit card bills that I asked him to take care since I was gone for the weekend and he needed to add money into the account that he had previously taken out. He forgot or didn’t have the money or whatever… and the bills were paid late. We have been through this many times in the past few years and I was totally sick of it. I needed him to get on top of things, pay attention to the lists of tasks we were giving out, read his e-mails, and make sure his shit gets done. This weekend, he was going away and asked me to do something for him and I completely forgot. In my defense, I reminded him of his “chore” three times from three different channels. He told me over the phone while I was pushing an angry baby across a busy street in the stroller. I wasn’t able to write it down, so I completely forgot about it. I needed a reminder—that’s all I ask for if I can’t write something down… Anyway, the day started out on a bad note… I then went to work and was actually able to work out in the family’s personal gym for 45 minutes which was great. I watched Oprah while I was on the elliptical and learned how some of the most famous models still feel good about themselves after they are washed up. Then, I came home to my business partner miraculously answering every e-mail I had written him in the past month. We fight about this all of the time—just communicate! Answer my e-mails, so we can stay on the same page. This seems to be a difficult task for him. I tell him over and over again to do it, I finally blow up, he does it for a few weeks, and then retreats back to his old ways…It’s a pattern we have perfected. We will see how long it lasts this time.
I think he is trying to prove to me that he is capable now that I have proved incapable because of my mishap over the weekend. It’s really like a bad marriage.
Lesson for Today: Upon starting the business, set specific roles for each person and make sure to set the standard that those roles must be followed and that you fulfill them always. It is very important for everyone to have specific roles in the company and to stick by and build on those as the business grows and needs more. Most importantly, pick your business partner with the utmost discrepancy. Choose them like you would choose your mate for life, this relationship may be even more important to choose the right team mate. Once you start a business and you are in debt, you are STUCK with them. It can be like a bad marriage. You are tied to each other for as long as it takes to build the business or pay down the debt. They need to either work in the same way you do, so you communicate in the same way and so you are organized in the same way. OR, you need to complement each other. Maybe, one person thinks strategically and logically, while the other focuses on the creative stuff. Make sure your business partner is diligent, motivated, organized, and perseverant.
