Carpooling is Cruel and Unusual Punishment
I nanny for three kids, the oldest girl is 9, the middle boy is 6, and the youngest little girl is 19 months. I have been with the family since the baby was born and I love them, but sometimes I don't really like them.
One of those times is when I am asked to do the carpool (I call it carpool, but it really just involves the kids in this family and chauffeuring them to and from all of their activities). I dread these days when something in the schedule is amiss and the mom has to leave me to tend to all three kids in the car...during rush hour... in their Volvo which I hate driving.
The car pool consists of getting to school 15 minutes early (why I am still not sure) waiting in the playground area while the youngest who has just mastered the art of walking or should we say waddling (she was a late bloomer), attempts to climb up the steps and go down the slide while a few bigger kids rush around not caring whether they pummel her over or not. Finally, after I go down the slide with her a few times, the other two kids come out, and I attempt to quickly direct them to the exit gate and away from the playground.
Ok, first 30 minutes successfully completed.
First debacle-- Both kids throw their book bags down expecting me to carry them and we go through the same conversation we've had a million times before, "That is your bag, you have to carry it. Oh, it's too heavy? Well then wheel it along, that's why mommy bought you the bags that look like luggage for school."
Second dilemma--Once we finally cross the street and get to the car, we then have to decide who gets to sit next to the window and who gets to sit in the middle. I swear I think I do more negotiating in a day that any CEO. Shiloh gets the window seat, while Evan gets the middle. This negotiation was not an easy task. We decided that whoever has to sit in the middle gets to control the radio. This was a huge adjustment that I had to make as a carpooling nanny-- I quickly realized that I would never ever get to listen to the music I wanted to hear during carpool time--EVER. So, I put on Evan's kiddie cd and off we go.
Third Dilemma- All three kids have demanded their afternoon snacks and as usual, they each get a fruit and a string cheese. I start off using the GPS to get me, first to Shiloh’s dance class and then I take Evan to his soccer practice. Shiloh refuses to change in the car like she is suppose to, so she goes into dance class and has to put on her leotard by herself in the dance studio bathroom while I have visions of some crazy person stealing her and taking her out the exit door in the back of the building.
Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Dilemmas--Once I drop Evan off, I literally turn around and pick Shiloh up from dance and then I go back and pick Evan up from soccer. All the while, Kiley has taken a crap in her diaper and is screaming to get out of the seat she's been attached to for two hours. We negotiate the seat arrangements again and we are on our way back home. Of course, there is some fighting about how Shiloh’s choice of music sucks while the baby continues to scream, cars are beeping in traffic, and the dad is calling me up to find out when I will be home with their car. I finally get home, park the car, and pat myself on the back for managing to get everyone home alive despite the six dilemmas I faced, and I pray to myself that I avoid driving my car off the nearest cliff on the way home after work.
Does the price of having well-rounded kids had to include so much driving?
In an article I read a few weeks ago, a mom revealed that she decided to limit her children’s participation in activities in order to regain some of her sanity. She felt bad at first, but quickly realized that her sanity was more valuable to her husband and kids than was her ability to drive them to and from every activity in town.
This article brought up the question: is it really necessary for kids to be involved in so many after-school activities? Isn't it enough that a five year old is expected to sit calmly in a classroom for 8 hours a day? Do we really need to make him/her go to soccer, dance, art, Spanish; the list goes on and on… Do kids really enjoy being shuffled from one activity to the next day after day? Why do moms feel so compelled to make their child aware of every possibly activity for someone their age? And, is it really worth all of the craziness that inevitably ensues from it?
Does the price of having well-rounded kids had to include so much driving?
In an article I read a few weeks ago, a mom revealed that she decided to limit her children’s participation in activities in order to regain some of her sanity. She felt bad at first, but quickly realized that her sanity was more valuable to her husband and kids than was her ability to drive them to and from every activity in town.
This article brought up the question: is it really necessary for kids to be involved in so many after-school activities? Isn't it enough that a five year old is expected to sit calmly in a classroom for 8 hours a day? Do we really need to make him/her go to soccer, dance, art, Spanish; the list goes on and on… Do kids really enjoy being shuffled from one activity to the next day after day? Why do moms feel so compelled to make their child aware of every possibly activity for someone their age? And, is it really worth all of the craziness that inevitably ensues from it?
New Post for New Mommies—
My best friend just had her first baby boy. She is going to be a wonderful mother who will learn quickly, but she has NO experience with children prior to getting pregnant. I am no expert, but since I spent the better part of my life babysitting and nannying, while my other friends made money waiting tables, she came to me for some help. So here it goes--this goes out to all the new moms, moms-to-be, or just moms who relate with a crying infant and an undeniable desire to just take a shower…
10 Tips for New Mommies
1. Drown out the noise during naptime--put music or a fan on in your baby’s room when they are sleeping to drown out any extra noise. They sleep longer and it allows you to get stuff done around the house without worrying that you are going to wake your baby up when you finally get him to sleep.
2. Treating a colicky baby without medicine—Colic stinks for everyone because the baby can’t get comfortable (and neither can you). The baby I nannied for had terrible colic and her doctor suggested that we lay her on her back and bicycle her legs. This really helped her. You can also try holding her facing outwards so her legs are free to kick, and sometimes, if you hold her face down across your arm so her head is kind of peeking out around your elbow, that helps as well.
3. Strap on Your Bjorn--infants love the beating of your heart; it soothes them and replicates the womb, so one of the best way to calm them is to strap on a baby bjorn and put her in it. You can do most everything (dishes, taking care of your other kids, laundry etc) with one a bjorn on and they tend to fall asleep and are pretty relaxed in it (just make sure to hold their heads when/if you bend over since they might slip a little).
4. Rocking Time on the Dryer-- If your baby is having trouble sleeping, try putting her in a car seat and putting it on the washer/dryer while it’s on. My friend’s mom used to do this when she had twins and it kept them quiet and asleep for twice as long as they would normally sleep—probably not so good for your electrical bill though, so just use this option if you’re desperate
5. Let them fall asleep on you. I know there is A LOT of opinion about whether or not to let your kid sleep with you, but in these first months, your goal is to spend as much quality bonding time as you can. They will NEVER be one month again. A lot of people will tell you not to let her sleep on you because she won’t ever be able to fall asleep on her own, but you can train babies to do that at 6 months almost as easily as at 3 months, so just enjoy it and let them sleep with you!
6. Offer your thumb--If your baby is acting hungry and it’s not time to eat yet, let her suck on your thumb or the side of your thumb, and it will hold them over for awhile (if he doesn’t like pacifiers).
7. Put it on Repeat-- Babies tend to like soothing music and if they are upset and you sing the same song quietly in their ear, this tends to quiet them down. I have sung Row Your Boat and Twinkle Twinkle more times than I could ever possibly count.
8. Keep Your Ears Open-- Babies tend to have different cries for different needs. If you listen for it, you will be able to gauge whether your baby is tired or hungry.
- Open a Book—it’s never too early to instill a love for reading in your child. Babies like to read books no matter how old they are; they are fascinated by them. Start reading those 5 page board books now, so they get used to it and by the time they are old enough to hold them, it will occupy them long enough so you can have a cup of coffee or read one page of the newspaper. *check back for the best baby book suggestions
10. Have your baby’s favorites at arm’s reach—It is difficult to have everything you need exactly when you need it when there is an infant around. Once you get into a daily rhythm (and you will), the baby will go through phases where he/she likes certain books, toys, blankets etc. better than others. Have a basket in the rooms that you spend the most time in and keep those baby savers close by. Trust me, once you are finally comfortable with the baby on the couch, you don’t want to readjust the baby just to run upstairs to get his favorite pacifier.
Part II
Tips for New(ish) mommies:
· Mirror Mirror on the Seat-- Babies that are generally a little older, around 3-6 months, are fascinated with mirrors. When I was nannying for my most recent family, we used to put a mirror on the back of the seat that she was facing in the car. She would stare at it for the whole car ride and never make a peep. Plus, when you are driving, you can look in your mirror up front and see the baby’s reflection in her play mirror that is attached to the car seat that she is facing (these are in the first few months when the baby’s car seat must face the back window instead of the front). This is a perfect trick for making sure the baby is okay while you are driving.
· Mirror Mirror Everywhere—You can also place your baby in a boppie (pillow for babies) and put it in front of a mirror at home. This will occupy most kids long enough for you to take a quick shower!
· Tummy Time—Many babies get frustrated with tummy time because it’s a lot of work for them and it is uncomfortable but it’s very important and they have to work through it. The baby I work with now didn’t do enough tummy time and it was part of the reason she was delayed in crawling.
· A little Screen Time Never Hurt Anyone. Baby Einstein works! Just use it. Don’t feel guilty about putting your child in front of a screen for a little while so you can relax. They will be fine and they won’t become couch potatoes. Mothers, especially new moms, have enough to worry about and feel guilty about. Enjoy your time with your baby and when you need a break or you need to drink your cup of coffee, strap the baby into a bouncy chair and let them enjoy a little bit of the tube.
That’s it for now. Check back for more tips for your growing baby and also for the list of best baby books!
